Dear Brahm,

Here’s my initial offer:

1) You lose your [eye] teeth then write a note asking me to bail you out.

2) I give you “lots of money,” but you keep the teeth. However, I will own a percentage of them, which I hope to sell later to cover my initial investment.

3) Let’s say you give some of the money to your brother, mom, and dad as “retention bonuses.”

4) I respond by taxing back 90% of aforementioned bonuses.

5) You thumb your nose at me.

6) As a result of your actions, now ALL of your family loses their teeth. And I run out of money.

7) Everyone starves (but are toothless and can’t eat anyway).

8) You blame me.

So, if you’re good with that scenario, then yes, you can keep your teeth and I will pay you “lots of money”.

Sincerely,

Ye Toothe Faerie